Sunday, March 8, 2015

There's a bat in the bedroom!

So, Sunday night after finding out I will have a vacant condo on the first day of May, the same month I’m getting married… Clearly I did not sleep well that night, completely stressed wishing my renter could have just held on ONE MORE DAY. Fast forward to Monday night… I get in bed at 930pm. I turn on the diffuser with my favorite night time oil-Good Night… I also put some on—along with some Clary Sage to bring me down off the emotional edge… I was determined to get a good night of sleep.  I turned on my Kindle to watch an episode of Private Practice.  I was out within 10 minutes, sleeping sound…UNTIL… I hear Dan yell out… It wasn't a normal yell I hear from him when he gets excited about something. I  wake up and roll over to see what he was yelling about and I see something flutter in the shadows of our room… I quickly throw my covers over my head and yell “WHAT WAS THAT?!” and Dan yells back “A BAT!” and then jumps out of the bed and runs out of the room… Me, still half asleep, I’m still under my covers hiding from the bat. I hear Dan downstairs saying “are you coming out?” I said “yep” and flung my covers off and ran out of the room fearing that flying mouse would end up tangled in my beautiful long locks—if that were to happen, I’d shave my head.
Met Dan at the bottom of the stairs and we looked at each other like “now what?”  I jumped on my computer and googled something I never thought I’d google… “how do I get a bat out of my house?” to my surprise a bunch of stuff came up… on wikihow they had animations of how this would be done. They gave many ideas to how to get a bat while it was hanging and holding still. But I saw nothing about how to get a bat that is flying around the room out…  Go to Facebook to see if by any chance my dad was on line… BINGO… Daddy, how do we get a bat out of our house?! Dad gave us some words of wisdom “Tennis rackets work best”  The only problem was we didn’t want to smash a bat in our bedroom and have it land on our bed………  We did arm Dan with a broom, and tennis racket… he had slippers on along with some yellow dish washing gloves… he ran up and turned the light on in our room in hopes he’d settle down with the lights on.  I was standing at the bottom of the stairs freezing (we keep our house at a cool 60 degrees) with only a night shirt on… I decided I needed to go upstairs to get some pants and a sweatshirt on…especially because Dan was talking about calling in animal control.  At this point Dan was at the top of the stairs peering around the corner into our room at the bat who is now doing laps around our ceiling fan.  I continued watching it do this before making my move to the purple room where all my clothes are… I get up and start to go when I see the bat come flying into the hallway—you know the batman logo—yeah the batman logo was basically flying at me… I turn  around and run back down that staircase. With my grace, and my tiredness, I can’t believe I didn't fall down the stairs. I've never run down the stairs like I did that night…

After I was able to bring my heart rate down (why didn't I put on my heart rate monitor for this? I am pretty sure going up and down the stairs like we did was a great workout)… I went back upstairs and made it into my purple room and put some extra layers on… I also started thinking, I’m closing all these other doors because I don’t want that effer getting out of our bedroom and disappearing somewhere in the house… so I did just that. Nowhere for him to go but the main part of our house.  Dan and I did a lot of looking at each other dumbfounded, and Dan did a lot of swearing…  We just didn't know what to do. We were both at the top of the stairs watching the bat do laps around the fan (again)… just waiting for it to disappear for a while, thinking maybe it will find a place to hang out and we could actually have a chance to trap him with a bucket (thanks wiki).  We were almost in a trance watching that thing do circles around that ceiling fan… and then the thing came flying out into the hallway again… and we in turn went flying down the stairs again… Neither of us were about to get rabies that night. It wasn't happening!  I stayed down at the bottom of the stairs while Dan crept back up the stairs. When he looked around the corner he did not see the bad flying in our room any longer… so he started to make his way to the door of the bedroom to find where the thing was…..  he was looking around and not seeing anything… when suddenly he said ‘Oh oh..he’s he’s trapped…. I’ve got him!’ I said NO WAY!! he said yes, open the door!!  I opened our front door and propped open the glass door… and Dan came running down with his mesh hamper that he keeps in the hallway with a towel draped over it.  He chucked his hamper outside, ran in and slammed the door shut……..and like that our bat ordeal was OVER.  

Until I left for work in the morning and the hamper was still there. I had coffee in one hand, my purse and wedding bag in the other (I bring all my wedding planning stuff to work, you know just in case I suddenly need to do something wedding related-don't judge!)... I had to make my way around that hamper and wasn't about to peak to see if that thing was still attached. I walked around it and made my way to work.  
If I never see a bat again, I think I'll be okay. I'll never watch The Great Outdoors, Black Sheep or The Office bat scenes the same again. 

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